Getting to know me – Page 3

French bread pizza

I made french bread pizza today when I got home from work. It seems like a weird thing to mention, however, it always reminds me of my favourite grandmother.

Renewal

Now that I’ve gotten my complaining out of my system and I’ve gotten some things accomplished, I feel much better.

Everyday stuff

So this post is a bit of rambling about me for a bit.

Relationship dreams

When I was younger and thinking about how my life would be, I can be 100% certain this is not what I pictured.

It’s all connected to the heart

I have an arrhythmia. It is relatively harmless, in that when it comes, I know why, and it isn’t going to cause a stroke or a heart attack. But, it is going to exhaust the hell out of me and give me migraines for days, as well as making sleeping difficult, which adds to the length of its stay.

Excuses are not acceptable currency

The one thing in this world that I will never accept are excuses. I don’t accept them from others and I don’t accept them from myself. I find excuses disrespectful, disingenuous, and a fake apology. Excuses provide nothing of substance and allow the person to shirk their personal accountability.

I am human but I am still in control

TW: this post is going to have swear words. I know there are plenty of great words that could be used, but there’s nothing quite like a visceral “fuck” to really ground one’s self. So yes, I swear, and yes, this post will have them, as it is a rant. I apologize in advance for any offense this may cause.

Darker than the darkness

Since about August, I have been battling depression. Thanks to a long legacy of mental illness, just in my mother’s lineage alone, it is a condition that I have been in and out of most of my life.

Year of Isolation

That was March, at the start of the lockdowns and closures. I decided to rethink my situation and focus on what it really was that I wanted to do while working on some long forgotten projects. My house also had some ideas of how it had some needs, so that added to the stresses of finances, but in the end, solutions were found, stress was repressed and ignored, and some of those waiting projects got completed.

Details of no consequence

I recently turned 50. For some reason, my brain thinks this is a big deal. Maybe it’s because I never anticipated living past 32 when I was younger. Either way, my brain seems to think that I have passed into “being old”, which is ironic, since, it also wants to believe I’m still close to my eatly 20’s.