One of the biggest things the last 3 years has taught me is that nothing is forever. From the moment that I type this to the end of ,y time and beyond. Everything changes, even if it seems to stay the same.
Life is often filled with little signs that try to promt you into action. If you don’t respond to them, they tend to disappear or. ecome a part of the landscape. Then a bigger sign will come by, and another, then a larger one, then maybe a neon one, till eventually, you hit the “DEAD END” sign and all options feel off the table. You’re left scrambling around trying to find anything that looks like a path.
The last two weeks gave been a bit trying and tiring. I’m hoping this next month is better.
It’s been forever and a day since I last wrote here. Hard to believe a month has passed by already!
I have been without pets for almost 2 years now. I had to have my sweet puppy put to sleep in July 2019. It was one of the hardest, most heartbreaking things that I have had to do in my life. I still miss him very much and wish he were still with me.
Over the course of the last week, my mind had been heavy with the concept of sexuality and my own. I have often wondered why I am the way I am and why I am not like most when it comes to relationships.
March 13th was the last day I went to an office to work. Since then, I have mostly been at home, attempting to stomach the news of the horrible administration that existed at the start of the pandemic, the world in general, and people overall.
Today is my only full day off this week from work. I’m not really upset about that as it helped make up for hours lost last week due to snow and ice.
I try my hardest to not let things drag me down. I try super hard to control my situations that I can control. I have learned how to detatch from those situations that I can’t control and cannot affect to prevent myself from being overrun with anxiety. It is a weird thing for me to do as it has been against the nature of who I have been growing up. I was forever tormented by the “What ifs”. I still am, but I try to shut those things up pretty fast.
I suffer from exectuive dysfunction. It is frustrating, disappointing and annoying.