A disjointed journey
My sister started following Roger’s Instagram.
This sounds like a total non-event. Like, family members should support your endeavors, even the silly ones that have no impact. So it should seem perfectly normal that a family member is following my ridiculously handsome cat’s Insta.
I woke up Saturday morning, feeling angry at someone who has not been a relevant part of my life since 2018. I hate it when something from my past comes and invokes all the old feelings I had back then. It says to me that I haven’t allowed myself to close that chapter in my life and I really need to because there won’t be any secure form of closure.
As I said in a previous post, I had a mental break last year. It was a scary, but somewhat life changing event that I am still processing, adjusting and applying to my life, nearly every day. As I exist in my life, I find myself rearranging my ideas and priorities of what my life is supposed to be, what it is supposed to mean, and what kind of impact I am supposed to have in this world.
I love my home. It is peaceful, calming and a space I always dreampt of living. I fully enjoy telling people who say, “I wanna live in a cabin in the woods!” that I am somewhat living that dream. It isn’t as cottagecore as they imagine, but, for all intents and purposes, it is what it is.
A funny thing often happens when you take that step, suck up the courage, and admit to the world the deep seated pain of loneliness and depression that has been prevalent in your life for longer than you can remember being happy.
Ever worked at a job that made you question your competency? Not the people you work with creating that mindset, but the way your work is evaluated?
It’s been a chaotic month for me. I think I’m finally coming to terms with the changes.
Anxiety brain is often times weird.
Goddess of Foxes 