New man

I have been without pets for almost 2 years now. I had to have my sweet puppy put to sleep in July 2019. It was one of the hardest, most heartbreaking things that I have had to do in my life. I still miss him very much and wish he were still with me.

Over the last year, I have started thinking about getting a pet. I have needed a cat for the doormice that come in during the winter months and have gotten too clever for the live traps, but have been putting it off. I miss having a warm fuzzy in the home.

I have put it off mostly because of my daughter. She has made it abundantly clear that she does not want me to have pets. To the point that I haven’t simply because I don’t want to deal with her about it, even though it would make me happy and perhaps less depressed.

Before the holidays, a friend of mine convinced me to adopt a kitten that one of his roommate’s cats had had. It had taken 4 months for me to decide. Once I had, the roommate decided to keep them all and I went on with life.

Yesterday, my friend informed me that the roommate ended up tossing all the kittens outside. He was pretty upset about it. I told him to bring the boy kitten and I’d adopt him. I went and got all the supplies and became excited. I picked a name and waited.

He brought the kitten today and we instantly bonded. He’s been on or near me the entire day and I’m just thrilled to have him here. I feel happiness and I think the kitten feels the same.

My daughter, on the other hand, is not happy. She started talking to me like an adult speaking to a child, and honestly, it made me upset. She seemed to think that I hadn’t considered her at all when, in fact, she was the only real reason I hadn’t gotten a pet yet. She tried to make me feel guilty, saying she was still grieving her old cat who had passed 4 years ago. I said I’m still grieving the loss of my dog. She said that having a cat was traumatic for her. I told her it wasn’t her cat and her interaction with it is solely dependent on her. That I understood what she was saying, but that i deserve to be happy and that I also deserved a reason to come home.

I fully understand trauma and how it affects someone. I also know that I am the one responsible for my healing. I would never put that responsibility on someone else or imply that my mental health is reliant on denying someone else happiness. I found the whole situation to be insulting and offensive. I wouldn’t try to diminish someone’s happiness because of my personal issues. It may have been wrong of me to not fully listen to her, but I didn’t appreciate the way she was trying to tell me she didn’t want me to have a cat.

I’m still upset about it, but this little cutie is making me less so.

Meet the new guy, Roger!