The limitations of going alone

Over the last few years, since moving into my current home, I have started to give in to the realization that I can’t do everything on my own. That, yeah, it’s often cheaper to figure out how to do it all and do it, but I’m also learning that the price spent to have someone else makes sure it at least gets done, and geta done within the realm of satisfaction.

Since the beginning of the year, I have been just awful at doing all the things I had planned to do. The long, cold winter didn’t help as I didn’t get out of my room except to go to work. That went well into March. Honestly, it was one of the coldest winters I’ve experienced since moving to this state. I will blame it, but also admit, I just felt overwhelmed and defeated by a lot of things. I still feel overwhelmed and defeated by the things, but I’m trying to get back to a place and space where I can start moving forward to do the things.

Part of that is realizing, I can’t do this alone. I need an assistant or someone who can help me organize my time better, do the promotion work, the SEO work, and other various tasks that I either can’t, am intimidated by, or simply don’t want to do.

The ironic part of that is, I don’t even know where to start to find someone who would do all that, let alone being able to afford them. I don’t believe this work should be done for free, but I literally can’t pay till the things start making me money, which requires the work of this said person. And it all just becomes an ourorbos of ass.

So, I’m working on what I know I can do and have done before successfully. I am currently still on this exceptionally frustrating job assignment which does help with the overwhelming cost thing that has been semi holding me back for a while. The letter from UI stating I had won my claim with them and was not going to have to pay back an obscene amount of money I don’t have, helped my outlook immensely also. So there’s that going for me.

There’s been a few small wins recently. I’m going to ride in those to see if I can garner some more and keep striving to dig myself out of this overwhelming pile of things to see if I can eventually afford someone who can help me push back the things and lower the pile.

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