Missed intentions

People in FB drama groups are weird. Because of my past groups, I’m subjected as a topic of discussion these drama groups, even though I have left any and all groups associated with the topic of the groups I started, and post nothing about it all on my personal FB, it still doesn’t remove me from the actions of petty people who take sides because…I guess, to fit in.

I know this happens, because when there is some dust up in the group I created and left, the visit count on this blog goes out the roof, I assume, to see if I’m going to say anything about it. Then, my entire blog gets scoured for any nuggets to take back to the drama groups to talk about me. In some ways, it’s rather flattering that I did make that big of a difference, good or bad, that even in my self imposed removal, I’m still relevant. 🤷‍♀️

I also have friends on FB who, I’m certain, are simply friends to see if I post anything worth posting in the drama groups to bitch about. Whatever makes you feel good, I guess. I just find it funny that I can post on my personal account something to the effect that I feel worthless, my life isn’t even worth living though I do, or anything that a real friend would be commenting or privately messaging me to ask if I’m okay, but these people don’t even post a reaction emote. There is literal silence. But the moment I post something that can be remotely taken in a negative light, they are commenting their rage at my insensitivity. Then, when I post an apology, once more become silent as the grave.

It doesn’t happen often, so it stands out like a sore thumb when it does. It happened today when I posted a post about the horrible situation in Texas. I have been posting ever since it started how horrible it is, how the government is supposed to be there helping people and have done nothing and how shitty their senator is for deciding to not cancel his Cancun vacation while his constituency freezes to death. So…it’s not like my feelings that I care about those suffering hasn’t been shown.

However, this morning, I chuckled because someone posted a complaint that their house was 40 degrees and they were freezing to death. I laughed, because I could relate. As a person born and raised in Southern California till I was 26, I felt that statement. If it got to be 36 out in the winter, that was FREEZING!!! No joke! The thick winter coat, gloves, winter hat, layers, all came out because, damn! That’s cold for a native! I also have a shift of perspective because I have been living in below freezing temps for the last two months. If it weren’t for space heaters, my electric bill would be $600 – $700 a month just to not be cold. As it is, my space heaters can only get the main part of the house to 64, and my bill is still $400. If the power went out, my house would be at below freezing temps in no time, and my pipes would absolutely burst. That’s terrifying!

So my post started out with the comment that the 40 degrees and freezing made me laugh. Then went on to say all this that I said above, but not in so many words. And perhaps that should have been considered, to explain a bit more but I felt, given all my other previous posts about my sympathy and empathy for those in TX, it really wasn’t needed. I also stated that having lived in VA in this cold for so long, my blood is thick and I can go out in 32 degree temps in a heavy shirt, a hoodie and pants, and not feel the cold like I used to and that was meant to be a statement of gratefulness that I’m adapting to the climate of my area.

I have a few people who live in Texas in my friends list. The only one to comment that I was callous and unfeeling just happened to be one of those people who never comments or emotes on anything that I have posted in over a year, belongs to the drama group I was referring to, and happens to be friends with the admin who fucked over all the other admins of the group I created. Not that their comment wasn’t worth taking note of. If I was insensitive, I need to know. But my other friends who live in Texas and experiencing the cold have not said anything, and they usually comment, or emote, at the very least.

So, I imagine the stats on this blog will skyrocket again. They claim I’m irrelevant, but apparently not. I’m also glad that I don’t care what they say but that I just find it funny that they still care enough to dig my name out of the grave to drag again.

For the record, I did apologise because my intention was not to be callous or unfeeling, but to acknowledge that in their position, which I easily could be, I would be very afraid. But…you know…why assume good intentions when you can instantly assume I’m a dirtbag….

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