Manifesting Thoughts

Do you think manifesting is something everyone can do?

Do you think some people just have the natural skill to manifest things?

I have done a lot of reading on manifestation and creative visualization. Sometimes, i wonder if the fault lies in me, I’m expecting too much, or not enough, or I just don’t have enough faith in the Universe.

I am not good with affirmations or writing out the things I am grateful for. I have an app that gives me affirmations every hour or so, though it is extremely random, and it doesn’t have to do with my crappy cell signal at work. Hours can go by, and suddenly, I get 3 in a row. But I read them. Each one of them. The way I read, I have an internal narrator, so I hear the words in my head. Many times, I read it then say, “It’s true!” or, “I do!” or just an audible statement of acknowledgment. I know the point of affirmations is to repeat the same ones daily, but much like having witchcraft spells that have to rhyme, I feel repeating the same statements over and over again is kind of silly. Maybe people don’t speak with intention, and they don’t always fully mean what they say. I try to do that, and affirmations that you repeat just seem like you are attempting to pull the wool over the eyes on the powers that be. I’d rather make statements that are genuine and assertive as opposed to just regurgitating words.

Writing out things I’m grateful for just feels redundant. Every day, it is almost the same 5 things. Nothing in my life changes enough to have something new to add to it. I am grateful for everything in my life, and I mentally say so often. Every moment that I realize my home is mine, that I have done work to it, that I have improved it, I am grateful. Everything in that house is mine, free and clear. I am so grateful for that. My garden is growing, and every day I leave for work and come home, I just can’t help but take a walk through the pots and just be so happy that everything is growing. I am so grateful for Roger every single day. My car, which is 12 yrs and still running. My job, which while isn’t what I want to do, still makes my life more affordable. Almost everything, I will stop and just take in, give thanks for it existing, and make it a part of my heart. So I feel like writing it down seems silly. I take moments out of every day to just sit and be grateful for the things that make my life livable.

So, I already break two of the biggest rules of manifestation. I often wonder if my inability to do these directly inhibits my ability to fully manifest things.

I also wonder if the problem with my inability to fully manifest is due to my inability to fully visualize what I need or want. They say you should imagine yourself with everything you want or need, as if it has already been there all along. Which, okay, I do that all the time. Do I do it with intention? Or do I just do it with the dreamy “That would be so nice!” vibe? I know that when I did a little altar work earlier this year for finances, the Universe answered big. But money is one of those things that I always say, “money comes and money goes. It will always be here when it is most needed.” And it always is. So I wonder if I just have an auto return value on that. For every amount spent, I am assured it will come back to me when needed. So maybe I need to start having this same belief with everything else, though it’s harder to send out something intangible. I’ll have to think that through a bit.

It makes me think of those who are just naturally lucky. Does hearing and believing you are just lucky to overcome reality till you just are? That luck just comes because you assume and have no doubt it will? I am starting to think along those lines, where I just say I’m the luckiest person in the world over any good event. While luck may not be the cause or the reason, I’m not sure there is any harm in believing that sentiment when things work out. I do believe in giving credit for the work done, but there is also an element of chance that also plays in, so would praising both work and luck be the best means to achieve results?

I’m also massively intrigued by vision boards. I created one a few years back with a 5 year goal. Some of it has come true. Some of it has changed and become something else. It is probably time to make a new one, as it has been three years. The idea was to make a new one every year. All well.

I think my biggest issue with the whole creative visualization is that, even though I grew up with the theories and ideas of Neal Vincent Price, I had very detailed, concrete images of my life as an adult, ever since I was a child. Who I would be, what I’d be doing, where I’d be living, everything. It was super detailed. And it never came true. I lived my life absolutely believing that this was going to be my future. The things I saw, the things I could feel as if it were real, never happened. To be honest, I’m pretty disappointed that it didn’t. That life was everything I wanted and the exact opposite of what I ended up with. Now, I’m trying to still build that life, but that life had someone who cared about me, our life together, and the relationship. I have no one. I just have me. So…it isn’t even remotely the same. And maybe that is my biggest issue with the whole concept of manifestation. I spent 26 years imagining the life I would have, down to the details, and yet, here I am, having the exact opposite experience I never wanted.

So either the fault lies with me. I don’t believe enough, I didn’t imagine enough, or I didn’t do all the right steps, or the concept is happenstance and sometimes, you stumble into it through the work you did, or it just never happens.

I think I’m going to go with the luck happens when you believe you are lucky and that creates more luck, till you are like that one guy in The Magicians who is so lucky, pigeons show up with food, and he’s constantly being followed by giant Publisher’s Clearinghouse checks. That idea entertains me and sounds like fun. Yeah…I think that’s what I’m going to go with.