Memento of my life

This year has just been a whirlwind. Tons of things happened, and the Universe really answered hard core, and often in ways I was not at all expecting!

I have been so worried about things around the house. Things I needed, things that need to be taken care of, things that I want to do for the house. It has been overwhelming at times, to the point I have just wanted to ignore it all. Well, the Universe opened up its arms and almost all of those issues are gone and have been taken care of! It really feels like the whole world has opened up for me and I can breathe again. I can’t be grateful enough for the blessings I have gotten in the last half of this year.

I have made the conscious decision to make my house over into a witchy cottage core home and so far, I am absolutely loving it! My home feels more like a place for me. Even more so that it had before. Changes of curtains, decorations added, allowing my creativity to flow throughout my house has really made a difference in my enjoyment of my home. I have a new 5 year plan for a garden that encompasses all of the front and side areas. I am on the way to realizing my desire to own chickens. My home, I am visualizing as a great place for me to exist.

I was dating at the start of the year, but that eventually turned into a friendship that has become an acquaintance. After that, I was good and didn’t feel like I needed anyone. I still don’t feel like I need someone. I had thought I had found a perfect guy in August, but he turned out to be a very small-minded human being who didn’t understand the necessity to grow and become a better person for everyone around him. We got into a discussion where I pointed out choices he had made that showed his stagnation and refusal to grow was causing him his own loneliness, he became very angry and truthfully, that was pretty scary. Aside from his refusing to take any accountability for what actions he had decided to take, he didn’t feel there was anything wrong with them. Then, he decided it would be a great joke to flash a dick pic at work. *sigh* Now he is on suspension until the employer decides what to do with him. And of course, it still isn’t his fault because he hadn’t intended everyone in the room to see it. *rolls eyes* Truth be told, there were lots of red flags with this guy. When he asked me one day if I was unsupported, I thought that was a super interesting question that literally no man has ever asked me before. It immediately set off my alarms that this guy was being a predator and scoping out how easy I would be. I would have to say, he definitely found out.

It does suck where I live to find a partner. Everyone here are such base model men. They all love trump, guns, cars and the Civil War, hate with a passion, and think women are helpless objects. They think they have something special to offer, but in reality, 30 more of the exact same guy are coming off the assembly line. They are all small-minded horrible men who think everyone lives in their world and not that we all live in the same world. I feel very…not trapped…but perhaps despondent that men who actually have kindness in their hearts exist. At least, not around here. I’m sure they do, but good god. I’m not finding them around here.

However, life has been good. I have wanted to update here for so long. I think about it, then don’t. Work has been exceptionally busy and with that, it has greatly improved my health. I am now where I was when I was in my early 20’s, which is amazing and not something I thought would ever happen. I feel like I have been given a second chance. Lexapro has been an absolute game changer with my mental health and I have been busy creating things that I enjoy and want to create. I am looking forward to the next year! It’s been a long time since I was looking forward to the future.